So now it is July 2013 and Im still pretty much in the same place except I have been subbing more electrical jobs lately and Im in crisis management now cause my “mental problems” are getting the best of me. Im still poor and struggling and hoping for better days ahead. I am just strating to get some therapy to try and learn to cope better with my life and all my problems but I hope it will lead to some wonderfully drastic changes, which I would love so much.
I almost lost Deb to a severe car crash in Oct, 2012, that was awful. The only thing worse ever was loseing Ryan in 1988 after his own struggle with a brain injury. This has been a nightmare for me. Poor Deb suffered a brain injury among other injurys, braing injury being the worst of all by far, and is still recovering and will be for quite some time to come. She has come a long way and we are so happy to see any recovery, so even now we are blessed, in pain but blessed all the same. Still we have a long way to go, she has another neuroligist appt in Oct 2013 to see where she is, and where she goes from there. I am always hopeful. Hes going to do an mri or some brain scan then I believe. This has been quite a horific ordeal and still is for myself and our entire family. The fear is of all this is unbelievable and she is so different in many ways. It hurts my heart so much and I am scared of the future. It is a starting over in so many painful ways. I never thought this could happen again. Im coming apart. It is so hard but we are managing. Life seems to be slipping out of control around us, were scared but trusting in God. Please remember us in your prayers….I know God loves me even if the chruch hates me.
Greetings everyone. I am alan a 50 year old man who lives in coastal North Carolina. I was born and raised in Norfolk Va, but moved to North Carolina to live in the country over half my life ago. I have always loved the beaches and the country life and here I get the best of both. A couple of miles from the Albemarle Sound and 45 minutes from the ocean and and a little over an hour to the bay. That is how I have come to love beachcombing so much. Though I’ve Yet to go this year.
I learned to love the country from my mom’s parents who we lived next door to in Norfolk Va(just minutes from Ocean View) until they left the city to return to the country when I was 12 years old. I sure missed them when they moved but it did not take me long to make it to their new place in the middle of nowhere. I used to spend much time there in Ivor Va with my grandparents when I was growing up and I have been a country soul ever since. I think I loved it so because he spent a lot of time with me and took me around and taught me to love it. I did not get that at home. But that’s a story not fit for retelling.
So I grew up and got older. I developed a career in Electrical Work and became a Master Electrician. Currently I am subbing jobs from several electricial companys. Not sure what is next.
I like writing much more than electrical work and because of Arthritis I don’t know if I will be able to continue to do my job or not. I feel like I need a new career. (I feel like I need to be on disability is what I really feel like, but that is highly unlikely.):( So I press on and now I have some where to write and complain and share ect…Plus I am meeting new friends and that is what this is all about.
So I hope I can bring a positive influence into someones life and help them like others have helped me. I know it will help me, it already has. I love to write and share and I hope what I put here is worth reading. If not, well sorry but it helps me survive no matter what and survival is tough sometimes.
I am married 28 years in July to my beautiful and faithful wife Deborah. She has been so good to me and put up with so much that I could do nothing to repay her. In fact I feel awful that I am not better for her, she deserves it that is for sure. I do the best I can but I just don’t feel that i am enough. She has never caused me to fee that way though, it’s just me. I also have 3 wonderful, spectactular children, Amber 24, Nathan 21, Ana 13, and my daughter in law Katie’ Amber, Nathan and Katie are in other cities now, but Ana is still at home. Nathan is a marine and that can cause some discomfort let me tell ya. I loved raising my kids but it went too fast. My wife Deborah is the computer guru of the family. She has her own on-line business and has done a lot with web graphics and stuff like that. She is the one who is responsible for me being here on word press. Looks like I may end up working for her in the end. I wonder if she will hire the handicapped.lol She will probably work me to death.
I also have started trying out bookselling. I have always loved books and I wanted a book store but a brick and mortar store is way far out of reach. The internet may work. I hope! I hope! I hope! Who knows? I don’t? But God does and faith is what carrys me. Otherwise I could not handle the things that I have been given to deal with.
My babies are my 3 dogs Ginger, Doc and Bear. The are labrador retrievers and they are the best dogs that I have ever had. Ginger is a chocolate female 6 years old. Doc is a black male 3 years old and Bear is a chocolate male 2 years old. They are Ginger’s sons but they don’t know that. It would be great to raise puppies for a career but it’s hard on the back and hard (expensive) to get set up. I raised 3 litters but only to find them good homes although we did take donations to help offset all of the costs. It was hard but fulfilling work which I enjoyed unlike my day job.
Life is short but it is rich with discovery for those who will look. It has taken me almost 50 years to figure that out but that is the direction I want to follow. Robert Plant sang “there’s still time to change the road your on,” and that never changes until the end. I don’t know but it looks more and more like I’m gonna be forced to change that road. How I am going to do I don’t know. But with Gods help and my family and friends inspiration I am going to try. Blogging is the start but only God knows where the finish is going to be.
Thanks and welcome to my crazy mixed up life.
asa
October, 31 2011 Update
So here you find me, still surviving on Halloween 2011. All the ghosts and goblins will be out in full force tonight, but not this far out in the country and now that Ana is 14 she is too old for trick or treating. So I am still surviving, but only barely as this year winds down and the cold days of winter approach.
I’m still looking for a job and answers to my health issues, spiritual. mental and physical. All sanity seem to elude me at this time but I press on with hope for the future. Although things are not clear for me on a lot of issues they are on some. Like how much I love to write and how much I love all my blogging friends. I get so much encouragement and hope from the comments and that is a real blessing. I’m no longer 47, I just a little over a month from 49. So, it’s true, time is real. I also enjoy music a lot and have been playing some with friends in various venues lately. One excuse for my lack of writing much. However I am hoping to change that some in the near future. In spite of being jobless I have kept quite busy being a little productive, but only a little. Still selling a few books but only a few. My wife Deb is no longer a human, she has become a part of her computer but her Ebay sales are doing better so I can’t complain, but I still do sometimes.
So I will leave you for now, until my next update, whenever that is. But I will get busy writing some more and finish some of what I have started but never got around to finishing….I’m still crazy and a lot of my stuff may be dark and painful for that seems to be what comes out a lot. Probably another reason I backed off on posting, I mean who wants to hear about it anyway. I know, that’s no excuse…….so I will try, for I need to write, its my therapy and I have been needing it. Peace to all my dear friends I enjoy you all so much, it never gets lonely in the blog world. Thanks for all the encouraging words.
So now I head back to my crazy mixed up life, thanks.
asa
You sound like a very inspirational person.
Don’t ever give up. Keep chasing your dreams, because some way, some how, it will be alright.
Just start . . . and the way will appear.
There are quite a few links in the following article to posts on starting over, creating a new life, following your dreams, creating the life of your dreams, etc.:
BTW: I’ve add you to my blog roll.
Now, pass me another cup of Joe! : )
I like your writing and decided to read a little “about” you….did not realize that you are from my neck of the woods. I’ve been living in Va. Beach for almost 28 years, moved here shortly after we were marriage because my husband was a student at ODU. Originally from Nelson County which is between Charlottesville and Lynchburg…often take 460 to the mountains and go through Ivor. Even though we live at the beach we often take vacation on the NC shore (Nags Head, Duck). Small world.
Thank you so much for your kind comments. I think that is a cool concidence that we live near each other. I grew up in Norfolk and my wife and I were in Va Beach until 1989. That is when we moved to Carolina. I know 460 well. My grandparents lived in Berlin which is 6 miles from Ivor and we have been that way to the mountains and I worked in Petersburg for about 9 months. 5 hour commute a day was a killer. Now we go to Crabtree Falls Va when we camp out. So it is a pleasure meeting you and I look forward to talking again and to many more trips to your blog. Thanks for coming by.
alan
We have a strip of river property (our own private family campground) just a half mile below Crabtree and relatives who live just above the hatchery…small world indeed! We get back there about every three weeks or so.
We have not been in since year before last on the 4th of July when the 100 year storm hit. It was the biggest washout but we salvaged some fun out of it still. I want to go back this year but am not sure yet, you guys have it made. thanks for the comments and enjoy the summer in the mountians, I guess you go there for the fire works, that did not get rained out when we went last and it was a blast.
If the blog-o-sphere helps you sort out anything, that is a good thing. It can be very therapeutic to let your thoughts spill out of your head. To look at them in black and white is sometimes the best way to really understand them I think. Good luck with the new path Alan. I am started on a new one myself. For all the pitfalls, I know that good things will show up along the way.
Thank you for the encourageing remarks. Life has indeed had some severe pitfalls along the way and writing has been a good therapy and blogging is even better, having friends to share it with is the best. The future is dark but I too believe good things will show up, they already have as far as great new friends are concerned. thanks
Fireworks? We’re in the middle of the mountains on a river…we create our own! Just so happens the people who bought the property below us are from Tidewater as well, and zip over when we’re there on the 4th to help us celebrate. Not sure if we’re spending the 4 there this year since we’ll be going a few weeks after that and just spent last weekend there. My post from a few days ago has a pic of our property. Have you guys ever trekked up to Spy Rock while you were there…Incredible view!
Hi Alan, I love reading your work and just popped onto your profile today…you sound like a wonderful inspirational man who always sees new opportunities and I am so very sure that will happen. I will visit you often as I think you are so talented. Have a wonderful day ~ Amanda
I really appreciate that. It’s means very much to me. I am greatful for your support. Friends are what makes life worth living and there are far too few friends in the world. thank you,
alan
Hi Alan, what a nice blog site you have here! I like it a lot and have added you to my blog roll. Hope that is okay.
I could relate to the whole unemployment thing. I was out of work for two years, had medical problems, surgery, then promptly lost my insurance due to no finances (long story), but things have turned out wonderfully for me now for 2010.
And about writing to help you survive, I can relate to that too! Keep your chin up, God has something very special, just for you. It just hasn’t come to fruition yet.
BTW, I live in NC too but more towards the triangle, near Raleigh.
It’s nice meeting you and I hope you have a great weekend!
Ellen
thank you so much for all ofthe kind comments, it is nice to meet you. thank you for stopping by, we have been in your area numerous times, it is fun there, much more to do than here. it is good to hear someone who has struggled have a good recovery story, we are still waiting for it all to work out but we believe it will in time
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Hi,
Here from Poetry Pot Luck. I live in coastal NC myself. I sell a few books online sometimes.
awsome, I love books, I love poetry, I love coastal NC and I am especially fond of dear people like you, thank you very much, asa
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Hi all my dear friends, sorry I am so sporadic and not here a lot, but I have been in crisis for a while and it has come clear to me that drastic action has to be taken, so I am entering a new journey to see if I can get help before I die. I miss you and hope to post more soon. love asa