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Archive for July, 2012

Happy July

Happy July, and Happy Independance Day 2012!.  Wow! Nine months without one single blog entry. My journal is the same way, not many entries over the past 8 months or so. More there than here though. I hope I can turn that around soon because I miss writing and I need to write. I love to write. What I love to do most in life is writing, listening to and playing music and reading, collecting and selling books. Now if I could find a way to make those things my mainstays in life. At this point the income I get from writing, playing music and selling books is very limited. My main source of income right now is electrical work and I have made some money scraping metal when ever that come available. So in the past five years I went from being a professional with a real job to where I am now. I used to believe that I had it all worked out. My future looked bright. Then the economic tide started to change. I went from being a man who always had work and a decent income for an electrician in eastern NC, to a man always searching for (and often not finding) ways to make some sort of income. Some say the economic crisis is passing but not here in my house or in my county. I’m writing this while I wait for a call for some work for today and possibly tomorrow and I have another load of scarp the take to the scrap yard. Other than that all I have is faith and it’s been sorely tested these past years, but God has held me together.

I suppose depression has played a big part in my struggle to write. So many different hurts in my life and they have all found a way to come to the surface over these past few years. As I started off with the beachcomber idea as a part of the internet business venture that my wife has been involved in I never knew what all I would dredge up. I was thinking of finding books and other treasures to sell as a part of her networking not digging up long buried wounds and sorrows of the past. I guess being striped of my job and all its so called importance reduced me back to what I really am, and that has been hard to face.

The one thing good about all the time I have missed from work is the fact that  I have become part of a band over the past year or so and have made some good friends and had some fun practicing and playing music out in several different venues.  I hope we can continue to grow and will get the chance to play some more gigs soon.  Music and friend ship have been one of the best medicines for dealing with hardship and depression.   Better than therapy.

So now I want to get back into more of my creativity and productivity and I am at least going to try.  I don’t care that Homer Simpson said that “trying was the first step towards failure.”  I am going to try in spite of old Homer.   I am  explore some music and poetry ideas I have had for a while now to try and expand myself.  I only hope work will not get in the way. I want to try and not get too busy but I definitely need to be busy enough to get some money. I finally have a few jobs lined up in a row. It has been a while since that has happened. It is hard work but I am thankful to have it. I just wish I could do something easier and without so much traveling. I am going to try and maintain my blog, my book store and my You-Tube account better and hopefully start to make some serious changes in my life as I approach 50 years old in just a few months.

http://www.youtube.com/user/ncbeachcombers?feature=mhee

These are my videos that I have posted for fun and to test the whole video thing out. I have a lot to learn but it is fun. So I will try and I will press on and I will try and not let my physical struggles get in the way of my muse. Being in the shape I’m in and doing electrical work is very hard and exhausting. I am glad to be posting something, finally after so long and I hope to post more soon and write some more poetry.

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