Posts Tagged ‘grief’

I dream a dream of love, to be loved.
What does it mean to be loved?
What does it take to be loved?
Apparently, im not good enough to be loved?
I hate myself! It hurts so much!
Why does true love always
Put me on a shelf…..inadequate.
I search in my cherished, broken relationship
Where I find that even when im not alone
I’m still just all by myself….
My heart is so lonely because
I’ve been rejected so much
Even those close to me hesitate to touch
This breaks my heart completely
Every day I cry a river of tears
All these things that keep happening to me
Act as agents of all of my fears
So I wander listlessly through life
Rejected heart helpless and alone
Life collapsing, crushing and wounding me
I so long to go home.
But home is where your heart is
And my shattered heart is hung
On someone else’s cold decisions
As in place of love they hold me in derision
As I fear my fate and bide my time
And pray there is no permanent division.

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August Sons Shine

Ryan and Nathan

a thrill, a joy

and a stab

like a knife

a twist in the back

the loss of life

one son given

one taken back

memories and a dream

all came in

August turned black

a month so filled

with family trust

love and joy

pain and grief

and sadness too

So glad that

You are here

with us

and an I miss

you forever

from us too

all so joyous

and grievous

all in the

month of August

I love you

My Sons

You are so

Very very dear

and I desperately

Need you both


Happy Birthday

my fine August sons

one an angel in heaven

and one an angel

here on earth.

I love you both

You know you make this

Father’s heart glow!



August 30, 1982 Ryan

August 19, 1988 Nathan

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Precious Star

Once upon a time a Star fell from the sky

A Star whose light did briefly shine

Obscured from sight, but for the few

Whose lives were blessed by one small glimpse

Of such a precious Star

That quickly passed us by.

So much was changed but how much more

Had the Star who had fallen, shined for all instead.

6 grains of sand in the hour glass of time, Oh God! So few!

Eternity, speculations, memories, so much more

but none of them free from the pain, and wonder

of how it all could have been.

You O Star so simple and polite

Free from the cares and concerns of the many

Happy to shine with love in spite of the pain

Free to fly on the wings of the wind.

How then you who made us so happy

Why are we so sad now instead.

The grief of life is the loss of  one so short,

Yet in loss you have become larger than life.

Your light shined so brightly,your flame flared up

and we all were amazed,….Then poof!! You disappeared.

Now I can only dream of the man you will become,

and wait until our time together in eternity.ilu


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