Posts Tagged ‘family’

Would you love me?
If I told you I was gay?
Or would you look at me
In shocked disbelief,
With nothing more to say?
Would it turn your opinion of me
Like night turns to day?
Or would you say
You always kinda knew.
Then why the dirty jokes
And devilish remarks
That hurts my heart
And makes me blue,
And makes me wonder
If I can ever trust you.
Would you appreciate my honesty?
Would you consider it integrity?
Would you grasp my deep respect?
For both God and man,
In my need to be real and true
And honest about who I am?
Or would you judge me infidel
And turn you back on me
And see me only as another
Little Boy Blue
Lost in the shuffle
And the hustle and bustle.
Now just one of the meaningless
Things in your life. Rejected!
Or, would you try?
Would you try and understand?
Would you stand with me?
Or would you just let fear
And insecurity mold you…..
Into the “Status Quo?”


a tribute to my father, my family and my legacy……….and to honesty and the courage to be real and to be like God our Father…….to just be who we are so we can become who we will be…….
And thanks to Eugene Field who wrote the poem “Little Boy Blue” which has long touched my heart, made me cry and remember my lost little boy and to appreciate every moment with the people I love and respect and to accept them all just for who they are and nothing more……let God handle the rest…….


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Happy Birthday Ana!


Sometimes in life it seems

That just when special times are done

They begin again

A gift is given

A baby is born

A little girl grows

As her father watches in awe

Such a joyous daughter

Heaven sent, my shining star

Whose light shines bright

In the hearts of those who know You

Dear, delightful Ana, splendid girl

Now fourteen years have past

It’s Birthday time again

So to you Dear Precious One

With love and joy in my heart

I celebrate you my youngest child

I lift you up with hope and prayer

May all your days be filled

With love, joy and happiness

As all my days with you have been

I hope you know forever

How I love you with all my heart

Happy Birthday Ana!!!!!

May it be one of many

May they all be blessed

Beyond all your imagination

May the Lord bless you and keep you

May His face shine upon you

May your heart be ever true

You are such a beautiful girl

I anticipate the wonderful

Woman you are about to become

And the wonderful future

That stands poised before you

Know that you will always be loved

And that I will always

Stand behind you and support you

Be strong and independent

Learn to take care of yourself

Before you need someone to

Take care of you

You are so talented, and bright

The world is your oyster

Find your pearl of priceless value

Above all let compassion and love

Be your guide across the landscape of life

Be passionate in your dreams

Treat others with kindness

Make your mark in life

By the woman you become

And not what you have or accomplish

You are so special

You have such a big heart

It will take you far

If you live your life in love.

Congratulations on fourteen

Fabulous years my sweet, beloved daughter.

I love you for ever

Happy Birthday

love daddy

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Our Tree Of Grace

Tree Of Grace 



It is Christmas time again and let me first say Merry Christmas to all of my family and friends whom I love very much. I hope and pray that you have a wonderful holiday season and that you are all richly blessed. 2010 has been a difficult and painful year in many ways yet a very blessed one all the same. My family and I have been through a lot and have learned a lot. We still have a long way to go but with God’s help and friends support we will reach the finish line.

We look forward to the year ahead as we say goodbye the this year and all of it’s trials and blessings. In 2011 we anticipate the return of our son Nathan from over seas and the wedding of our oldest daughter Amber to Gabriel and my brother Ben to Abby.   All still months off but the excitement and anticipation is already building.

There are some obstacles in the weeks and months ahead and we do not know what we may have to face but we are standing firm. We know from past experience that God will take our hand and guide us through what ever the year ahead brings. We hope for the best year ever and many blessings for us and for all of you.

One thing that has been in short supply is money and with the early arrival of winter is has been even more evident. Christmas is going to be old fashioned this year to say the least. A message from Nathan, some friends and family, a good holiday meal and a few small gifts for the children are all we are hoping for.  Hearing from Nate is most important and most unsure at this point.  We are not sure where he is, so we pray for him, and all the service members over seas and for all their safe returns. 

Due to the struggles of 2010 we almost did not get a tree. My wife and I were not too troubled by this but out 13 year old daughter was. That made me feel differently and I had no idea what to do so I ask God to help.  I was not sure what to do and I waited and He came through, as He always does.  Sometimes we have to wait and sometimes things do not turn out our way but He is always faithful and always sees us through.

Deborah was the answer to the question and to the prayer this time.  (As she often is for me.)  She was making a rice bag for a friend and had gotten some money for supplies and material to make it. When she left her friends house she went and bought the supplies needed and found there was some money left over. It had been agreed upon that since this rice bag was for free and not for sale so any money left over from supplies was Deb’s.

On the way home Deb stopped by a Salvation Army thrift store just to see if there were by chance any artificial trees there for sale. She found one tucked away in a corner. It had a run over by a truck look to it and seemed hardly worth any money or time. Still she felt that she should get it. “It had a lot of potential.” she said, it cost exactly the amount that she had left over which was not very much.  She bought it with a hope and prayer and a lot of thanksgiving.   We were not sure how it would turn out but we had a tree. Our miracle tree. Our “Tree Of Grace.” I am amazed at how it all came to pass from start to finish.

It started with a poem that turned into a prayer that turned into a little girl’s answer to prayer. It makes the struggles worth it all when the amazing and miraculous results come about. The tree ended up being a very nice artificial tree that was once a beautiful holiday treasure only to be injured and mistreated and ultimately discarded.  Only to be rescued by someone who saw the potential. Now it is once again what it was meant to be.  A magnificent symbol of grace. 

We worked hard undoing scrunched up and bent over branches but in the end it was a work of love and tenderness that paid off.  Just like Charlie Browns tree, ours was transformed from an ugly damaged thing to a beautiful work of our Father’s art.  Wow!!!!  Breathtaking!!!  We are all so thankful for this blessing and this symbol that has been placed in our lives when it was beyond our means.  Grace and mercy for today, hope for tomorrow.  A child and her families Christmas tree of grace from God. I am so blessed to be a part of it all. May you be blessed as this year ends and the new one begins. May your dreams all come true and when they don’t may you see the blessing even in that. Good always comes around if you wait. Happy Holidays to all.


Tree Of Grace 1

photos by; asa

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Look at the compassionate Christmas tree

All decked out, such a symbol of grace

Colorful lights and brilliant sparkling ornaments

Bringing joy and delight to many a face

Across many great lands of this world

A beautiful act of annual congruity

If only if could be always so

That the people of this world

Diverse though they may be

Could be drawn together

Into the boldness of unity!

United we stand divided we fall

Joined together for the common good of all

And for the one who made us for each other

Each one of us together taking our place

Doing our part for our human race

Everyone taken care of, no one left out

From the great and tall to the weak and small

No throw away people here, not one

All can be redeemed all can be fixed

No Scarlet Letter

No Mark of the Beast

Only love and peace and hope for all

From the greatest of the great

To the very last, the smallest of the small

No one is too broken

No one is beyond repair

When it is pure Love’s acclaim

That the living truth does spare

So many lives shattered

So many lives filled with shame

So many wounded, hurting souls

Bearing all the guilt and all the blame

For the evils pressed upon them

They gather around the trees

Praying for hope and peace to be there

Two trees standing in the garden

One a tree of grace

One a tree of despairs

One tree’s beautiful lights

Announcing a new birth of hope

One tree stark and barren in death

Hung with compassion and care pronouncing

For all to see that there is hope

To be found in the tree of despairs

Life springs anew from the bareness of death

Both trees a symbol of the One True King

The Master of unity who one day will bring

His Kingdom to the humble ones

Who wait for His glorious return

Look at the beautiful Christmas Tree

Look at the tree of despairs

Where love and compassion were hung

For us, to show how much He cares

So take the time to think deep, breathe in

All that this means and how glorious it is.

Oh Christmas tree spectacular and vivid

May you speak your magic to the hearts of all.


image by; asa

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Happy Birthday Amber!


Happy Birthday Amber

I Love You So Much!

My Heart beats with pure joy

At every thought of you

The woman you have become

The person you have always been

Never cease to amaze me!

You are my delight

My shining star

So wonderful and brilliant

In every life you touch

You shine with beauty and love

Twenty Five Years, so fast

A quarter of a century, just a blur

So quickly have those

Precious Years Vanished

They have taken wings to fly

And soared into sweet memories

Leaving yesterdays dreams far behind

Now is the time to feel the need

Grab the years that remain

Let the Spirit’s Heart and

The minds eye clearly guide you

With Love and Compassion

For all who cross your path

As the grains of sand

Each one a year, a gift

From our Father God

Spin with love a tapestry of life

To be lived in passion for others

No matter what it is

That you may choose to do

For that is how you will be measured

In the eons of time beyond our world

By those who never die

Who will some day greet you

As the last grain of sand

Falls into the future.

My lovely daughter

Who is such a blessing to me

And to the entire family

May you be blessed in all you do

May favor shine His face upon you

And may you always know

That from the deepest depths of my heart

You are loved beyond measure

Happy Birthday Amber

I Love You So Much!!!!!!


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It was a house of excitement and we were up early, before sunrise, before the alarm even. We were ready to go. It was a day of excitement for Deb and I as we prepared for our grand getaway. The sun was rising on a beautiful late summers morn as Deb’s parents arrived for their turn to stay with Ryan and Amber during our much needed 3 day 2 night break.

We kissed and hugged the sleepy toddlers and got out the door without too much fuss, leaving the grandparents to assure them of our speedy return and of all the fun they would have while we were gone. I guess it all worked out well, but we were on our way and we let the grandparents handle that one. Being young with small children could be hard at times and we were ready to get away for a break for a couple of days.

I looked over at her and squeezed her hand. “Can you believe we are finally going?” I ask.

“No”, she replied,as our eyes met for a moment. Her gaze told me all I needed to know. I was more excited about being alone with her than anything else, but we were kids for the moment and we were heading for Busch Gardens and were ready to ride all of the rides and have a blast. Music that used to not be oldies was playing on the radio and we were in love. It was our moment to shine and as we arrived at the park we noticed that there were not a lot of cars at all.

“Looks like this is our day,” she bubbled, as we moved through the gates and into the park. “Lets hurry before more people get here.”

The aroma of food and the old country’s canned music wafted around us like old friends as we stepped into the surreal atmosphere of the park. Please check your life at the gate flashed like an invisible sign as we were immersed in the enchanted world of make believe. You are now entering the fun zone where you must ride and drink and eat to you hearts delight. I was ready for fun but she was my delight. We took the sky-lift over to the Loch Ness Monster. On the way we took advantage of our stolen moment alone for a kiss or two. All I can say is that we used to love to ride the sky lift, (my favorite ride back then,)especially at night. Nothing like being young and in love.

The first half of the day went by in a whirlwind of rides whisking and screams turned into laughter. We hugged and held hands as we went from ride to ride.

“Look honey,” I said,” there is hardly any one here,  lets ride the sky-lift again.”

“No silly,” she giggled, slapping me on the arm lightly. “There will be time for that later, there is stuff to do right now.”

“OK,” I replied, pretending to be downcast, “what shall we do next?” I grab her and hug her, and spin her around.

“Quit,” she replies,feigning me off, there are people around.

“Yeah but not many,” I quipped, “we have the place to ourselves, we can do anything we want.”

“Like ride more rides,” she answered, grabbing my hand and pulling me along. “Now lets get going, mister.”

So we rode and bantered and played like we were our little children until we were famished. We searched out a desirable shady place for lunch and relaxed together basking in the freedom of the day. Babies at the park are fun but they do not allow for the fun we were having on this particular day. During lunch we found a pay phone and called home to check on our beautiful angels. (no cell phones back then) The children were never far from our minds. We love them so much, they were our life. They were fine but wanted to know when we will be home. We were freed from the phone with out too much hassle, but little ones never want to let you go. Our duty done, we turned back to fun.

“Where now?” I asked.

“I don’t know, she answered with a big grin, “ How about a show and then we can ride the bumper cars and I will show you how to drive.” She will too, she thinks she is a race car driver.

The show went largely unnoticed but resting together in the AC side by side felt so good. We were hot and tired and full of lunch and ready for a moment of inactivity. Soon the show was over and we headed out into the summer evening for some more adventure. Now we were more low key and when we arrived at the bumper cars we found that we were the only ones riding at that moment. We had the whole bumper car arena to ourselves.

“I’ll get you now,” she shouted with glee, as the electricity zapped into the cars and they came to life.

“Oh no you don’t,” and I was off. She chased me down and cornered me and crashed me into the wall. “ Ha, ha, got you that time.” she laughed, and was off, now I was chasing her. Which is usually the way it is. We rode and crashed and laughed and fell deeper in love. That bumper car ride was the turning point that led to a wonderful night of romance.

The operator winked and let us ride longer. We were winded and flushed with excitement when we left the bumper cars. Arm in arm we glided through the darkening park as our mood shifted with the atmosphere. We stole a lingering kiss at every dark corner as we changed from our playful childish selves to our sultry adult selves. The electricity was in the air and we could feel it all around us like magic. We were hungry, but not for food and our attention was turned towards each other now. We were glowing and the aura was surrounding the both of us as if we were one. It was amazing at the transformation that took place as we continued on our journey.

“Lets play games now,” she asked, almost pleading, “you have to win me something.”

“But you have me,” I responded, acting dejected.

“Oh and I’m going to keep you too, but that’s not getting you out of winning something for me. A prize now for a prize later.” she smiled seductively and I was hooked. Love was dripping off of us liked invisible rain droplets. I was in a daze, and the rest of the night was a haze of thrills and moments of delicious young passion that was off the hook.

Coins flew and rings tossed, balloons popped and the carnivals droning MCs drove us on and……..ding, ding, ding…..bells went off and sirens wailed…….”what….did we win?”

“You sure did,” the over zealous attendant shouted above cacophony of carnival machines and music. He proceeded to pull down a huge stuffed dog and I realized that I was going to have to carry this fellow around with me for the rest of the night, which thankfully was getting shorter. I was ready for some other excitement now. I had a prize to play with all right and it was not the big stuffed puppy that I was now carrying around like an overgrown baby.

We decided to make the water ride our last stop and the attendants there graciously tended our baby while we got soaked. We were breathless and drenched when we reached the bottom but we loved it. The log ride was what we needed to complete the day. The fire was lit.

Chilly and snuggled together with our new found friend which we knew the kids would love, along with other prizes procured for them during the day, we proceeded back to the sky-lift and one last ride that would take us to the entrance and ultimately to our motel room.

“I love you so much,” I said, holding her in my arms and kissing her as the lift descended to the station. She answered my love with hers and we held each other close in anticipation. For the day was ending but the night of love was just beginning. We were young parents in love.


Our romantic get aways have been far and few between over the years. Kids have been our way of life since before we were married and this is the first time in 28 years that we do not have someone to tend to. Our youngest is 13 and she is looking forward to young womanhood now. The other kids are out on their own. Ryan is in heaven and we have no grand kids yet. Once upon a time I expected that by now we would have many, so I am very sad about that, but I wait and dream with anticipation until that day arrives.

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Mommy, Mommy!

Where is he?

What did you do?

With  Pony!

I left him here

and went to play

I know I left him

here today.

Oh Mommy please!

He’s my favorite one!

Please tell me Mommy!!

What have you done?



images by asa

(I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it, (but it fits) we have been cleaning out my 13 year old daughter’s room and we found these two characters.  They go back a long way.  Good old Pony and His rainbow sidekick, what memories.)

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