There was nothing like a 1970s vacation.  Especially one at the Peter Pan Inn.  It was every kids dream to go to a resort hotel and  have new experiences.  There was always a pool and game room and plenty of new halls to explore.  Especially enticing was the hotel restaurant which was know for it’s corn fritters, corn meal balls, fried and dusted with powdered sugar.  People waited in line to get in but the collection of Victorian antiques and other gaudy furnishings made waiting a feast for the eyes.  The Peter Pan Inn was known for it’s restaurant, which featured five dining rooms during its hey-day and was popular during the 70s.  but it all came to an end around Christmas 1983.

It remained closed for quite sometime before becoming the The Cracked Claw at Peter Pan Inn in the 1990s.  A lot of the dining space has been replaced by off track betting facilities but many of the old artifacts remain and you can still find corn fritters on the menu.  I’m sure many still go there just to catch a glimpse of the past.  The older I get the more I like glimpses into the past and the more past there is to glimpse back at.  I’m not sure if I like that so much, the getting older part that is.  Oh, it has it’s benefits I’m sure but getting older is not for the weak.

I have an original 1970s vintage drinking glass from the Peter Pan Inn restaurant and it is an neat collectors item.  Anyone who remembers those good old vacations of the 1960s and 70s and beyond will get a kick out of this treasure.  Like mugs, unique drinking glasses are another fun addition to the kitchen or the curio cabinet.  Special places from the past create wonderful memories and it is nice when an artifact of some by gone era finds it’s way into ones hands.

(The pictures of the dining room are from the internet, they are post cards that seem to be from different eras, I’m not sure about that, the one of the glass is from me, it’s the glass I have.)

And, in closing, as The Peter Pan Restaurant came to an end so does my relationship with the glass.  My wife Deborah and I have been cleaning out lately and now she has put the Peter Pan glass up for sale on Ebay so just if you want to buy it  just click on the picture and you can see her add.  It’s cool.  See ya soon, asa

In 1988 my wife and I suffered such a loss when we lost our oldest son Ryan.  He was five and it was just two days before his sixth birthday.  It was our darkest day.  Our precious little boy suffered  severe disabilities from a head injury he suffered in the past and finally he lost the fight.  He had been in and out of the hospital many times since his injury and he suffered so much.  It broke our hearts.  We suffered so much right alongside him and prayed and hoped and believed with all our hearts that he would recover and have a better life experience.  However, that was not to be here on this earth.  We never expected our prayers to be answered in such a way but they were and it took a long, long time to accept.  It is still hard sometimes.  Especially knowing what could have been and what my whole family has missed out on these past many years.  We have hope and faith and believe that we will all be reunited someday in the future but for now it is only a dream.

Loss for me is defined most powerfully by the loss of my son.  It is the measuring stick that I measure all suffering and loss by.   I know he is well and whole and enjoying life now but I still love him and miss him terribly, and always will.  I wrote this poem and posted it originally last year on the 22nd anniversary of the day Ryan was lost.  All the losses I have suffered have hurt in varying degrees but nothing compares with the loss of my son.  I know many have suffered this kind of loss and I am sorry for that.  My youngest son Nathan is a Marine so my family and I share the pain and fear of losing a child all over again along with so many other service members families who are deployed overseas right now.  I pray every day for my son Nate and all others deployed and their families.  So I share this here in response to the Gooseberry Garden Poetry blog invitation and I hope it blesses someone.  Thanks.

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“Birthday Party In Heaven”

It was a day of dark sadness

and also a day of misplaced joy

we were so broken hearted

the day we lost our little boy.

However the angels

up in heaven were singing

a song of jubilation

for their heartfelt prayers

had finally been answered

and they were granted

their grand celebration

of you our broken wounded

little five year old boy

who suffered so much

during your time on earth

but those angels in heaven

sure knew your worth

they couldn’t stand

to see you suffer any more

they insisted that you

not have to suffer any more

they so desperately

wanted you to have

a much bigger better day

so they begged and pleaded

with the king on the throne

and He agreed with them

and brought you home

and to your fair glory

on top of our deep pain

in spite of the agony

and raw viciousness

that broke our young hearts

and fused our reeling brains

we shed crocodile tears

while you left us here

to go and get ready

for the biggest event

of your entire life

where there were so

many, many, many presents

that they needed a big, big tent.

But we were left to bear

our great pain and deep sorrow

they get to have you today

while we have to wait

for that long off tomorrow

that left behind the long ago

yesterday that lives in our hearts

this day twenty two years ago at

9: 05 am Sunday August 1988

you had to go to the party

no, no you could not be late

and since your sixth birthday

was just two days away

you had to go right then

you knew you could not stay

so that was it and off you went

to your most important day

dear sweet precious Ryan

our beautiful little boy

you know that you

our fabulous little joy

was heaven sent

and taken back again

in the blink of an eye

suddenly all that was left

were the tears that we cry

and it was then

in that moment that we knew

just how much we really love you.

When the Lord came, reached out

His hand and closed the book

we did not even get a chance

for one last kiss nor one last look

of our dear sweet precious little lamb

so go in peace our dear son

may your journey be light

and may you be well fed

may the sun shine always

on you shoulders

may you always be well read

and may the blessings of the king

fall upon your table and

reign down upon your head

like precious wine and ointment

and priceless broken bread.

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photos; internet

Cast off the artificial feelings

of the body and the mind

induced by frivolous delicacy’s

that numb the pain but leave behind

scars and wounds, lessons of sorrows

that litter the path of yesterday

and wait for us in our tomorrows

walking in the valley of tears

searching, for the Lord of the Valleys

full of agony ravaged by fear

dreams of freedom overflow in feelings

too hard to face, too easy to run

disgraced, away from the ones

who can help find the path of conviction

free from the addiction

of instant gratifications

false elation, spiritual frustration

that is no substitute for love

thirsty and hungry, desperate inside

looking for the answers

where dreams have died

and hope is gone, all is lost

and at the highest price

the ultimate cost, is paid

salvation comes when pain surrounds

and sorrows drown your soul

foundation laid, rebuild anew

the life shattered and crushed

by the viciousness of life

in a world filled with cruelty

and left to fate, rising

above the bitterness and the hate

facing the pain with arms wide open

letting the tears of truth wash away

all the lies of self hatred

and cleanse the wounds inflicted

by the chains that bind

the broken hearts of the ones

trapped in the world of the addicted.

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photos; internet

how did it ever, ever

get to be this way

what could anyone,

anywhere possibly say

to a child who has to

pick his crumbs from

out of the dirt

while wars rage on

and billions are spent

in the business of hurt

we lock our possessions

up so very tight

and send the homeless poor

out into the night

to fend for themselves

in a world full of hate

where living and dying

are all left to fate

as prophets of doom

say that all is well

while all that is sacred

is condemned into hell

in a hand basket on

a bright sunny

Sunday afternoon

where lies are the truth

and truth is banished

and put away,

saved, I suppose

for some far off rainy day

when all hope is lost

and we finally

count the cost

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images; internet

Do I think you really care?

Am I not just another notch

on your super spiritual gun?

Scoring Holy ego points

using God’s own Son, crying

Freedom, freedom in the Spirit

While men reign in total control.

Whipping up an emotional frenzy

Junkies high on too much spirit juice

pushing hard making things happen

but never wanting to let loose

of what’s real and what’s

so desperately needed.

So many broken hearted ones,

who simply come to heal and pray.

Yet they are the very ones

that you all manipulate away.

They only came to hear God say

I love you my dear child,

I am so very fond of you

don’t run, please, please stay.

But it is so, so hard to love those

who you cannot control, Isn’t it?

Yet there is so much that needs to be done

to help these broken ones get whole.

Have you ever walked in their shoes,

have you felt the depths of untold pain?

Have you ever seen the blood

as it drips crimson from our veins?

Well, He sees and He knows,

and He draws very near

to these humble broken souls.

His spirit of compassion is on the rise

to the religious spirits total demise.

I know many of you cast away

the shattered, ravaged hearts

of the ones He sends your way.

For often I have heard it said

from those who are completely undone,

that when they came for acceptance

all they got was shunned,

over and over again by the ones

who are supposed to be there

to guide them.

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awards from Jingle, thank you Jingle

Sometimes in life it seems

That just when special times are done

They begin again

A gift is given

A baby is born

A little girl grows

As her father watches in awe

Such a joyous daughter

Heaven sent, my shining star

Whose light shines bright

In the hearts of those who know You

Dear, delightful Ana, splendid girl

Now fourteen years have past

It’s Birthday time again

So to you Dear Precious One

With love and joy in my heart

I celebrate you my youngest child

I lift you up with hope and prayer

May all your days be filled

With love, joy and happiness

As all my days with you have been

I hope you know forever

How I love you with all my heart

Happy Birthday Ana!!!!!

May it be one of many

May they all be blessed

Beyond all your imagination

May the Lord bless you and keep you

May His face shine upon you

May your heart be ever true

You are such a beautiful girl

I anticipate the wonderful

Woman you are about to become

And the wonderful future

That stands poised before you

Know that you will always be loved

And that I will always

Stand behind you and support you

Be strong and independent

Learn to take care of yourself

Before you need someone to

Take care of you

You are so talented, and bright

The world is your oyster

Find your pearl of priceless value

Above all let compassion and love

Be your guide across the landscape of life

Be passionate in your dreams

Treat others with kindness

Make your mark in life

By the woman you become

And not what you have or accomplish

You are so special

You have such a big heart

It will take you far

If you live your life in love.

Congratulations on fourteen

Fabulous years my sweet, beloved daughter.

I love you for ever

Happy Birthday

love daddy

Muddy Waters

Roll On By

Washed Away

By The Tears I Cry

Heartaches Come

But Are Swept Away

When My Eyes

Are On The Lord

Each Day

Cloudy Sky’s

Can Blow On By

The Sun Is Shining

I’m Not Going To Cry

Because God Loves Me

He Holds Me Tight

I’m In His Loving Arms

Each Morning And

Every Night

Troubles Come

Most Every Day

Sadness Tries

To Take Me Away

Still I Stand Firm

I’m Not Going To Let Go

Because He Holds Me

And He Never Lets Go

And I Know He Never Will

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images by: asa

What is wrong with being different?

Why do we all have to be the same?

So much to be said about individuality

But you just try!

You’ll see who gets the blame

Why so many stereotypes?

In their neat little boxes and paper bags

Are we so quickly and neatly summed up?

In single file categories, straight lines, plain flags

Color blind ideas in a Rainbow world

Fear, walls and divisions, human traditions

Where bigotry stands behind twisted pickets and lies

With blood stained hands creating hatred that is hurled

At people like you and I, just people, folks, you and I

Whose right is it to make us cry

Just because we are who we are

Do we have to kill ourselves?

Or be drug behind someone’s car?

Or beat to a pulp and left for dead

Just one more fallen star?

Just get the message! Be different……

…..at your own risk….

Go, but not too far, take your chances,

But be willing to bear your scars

Love is by far the one and only way

Still, every rose has it’s thorn

Often even in love there is a painful price to pay.

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photos: internet

MERRY CHRISTMAS

It is Christmas time again and let me first say Merry Christmas to all of my family and friends whom I love very much. I hope and pray that you have a wonderful holiday season and that you are all richly blessed. 2010 has been a difficult and painful year in many ways yet a very blessed one all the same. My family and I have been through a lot and have learned a lot. We still have a long way to go but with God’s help and friends support we will reach the finish line.

We look forward to the year ahead as we say goodbye the this year and all of it’s trials and blessings. In 2011 we anticipate the return of our son Nathan from over seas and the wedding of our oldest daughter Amber to Gabriel and my brother Ben to Abby.   All still months off but the excitement and anticipation is already building.

There are some obstacles in the weeks and months ahead and we do not know what we may have to face but we are standing firm. We know from past experience that God will take our hand and guide us through what ever the year ahead brings. We hope for the best year ever and many blessings for us and for all of you.

One thing that has been in short supply is money and with the early arrival of winter is has been even more evident. Christmas is going to be old fashioned this year to say the least. A message from Nathan, some friends and family, a good holiday meal and a few small gifts for the children are all we are hoping for.  Hearing from Nate is most important and most unsure at this point.  We are not sure where he is, so we pray for him, and all the service members over seas and for all their safe returns. 

Due to the struggles of 2010 we almost did not get a tree. My wife and I were not too troubled by this but out 13 year old daughter was. That made me feel differently and I had no idea what to do so I ask God to help.  I was not sure what to do and I waited and He came through, as He always does.  Sometimes we have to wait and sometimes things do not turn out our way but He is always faithful and always sees us through.

Deborah was the answer to the question and to the prayer this time.  (As she often is for me.)  She was making a rice bag for a friend and had gotten some money for supplies and material to make it. When she left her friends house she went and bought the supplies needed and found there was some money left over. It had been agreed upon that since this rice bag was for free and not for sale so any money left over from supplies was Deb’s.

On the way home Deb stopped by a Salvation Army thrift store just to see if there were by chance any artificial trees there for sale. She found one tucked away in a corner. It had a run over by a truck look to it and seemed hardly worth any money or time. Still she felt that she should get it. “It had a lot of potential.” she said, it cost exactly the amount that she had left over which was not very much.  She bought it with a hope and prayer and a lot of thanksgiving.   We were not sure how it would turn out but we had a tree. Our miracle tree. Our “Tree Of Grace.” I am amazed at how it all came to pass from start to finish.

It started with a poem that turned into a prayer that turned into a little girl’s answer to prayer. It makes the struggles worth it all when the amazing and miraculous results come about. The tree ended up being a very nice artificial tree that was once a beautiful holiday treasure only to be injured and mistreated and ultimately discarded.  Only to be rescued by someone who saw the potential. Now it is once again what it was meant to be.  A magnificent symbol of grace. 

We worked hard undoing scrunched up and bent over branches but in the end it was a work of love and tenderness that paid off.  Just like Charlie Browns tree, ours was transformed from an ugly damaged thing to a beautiful work of our Father’s art.  Wow!!!!  Breathtaking!!!  We are all so thankful for this blessing and this symbol that has been placed in our lives when it was beyond our means.  Grace and mercy for today, hope for tomorrow.  A child and her families Christmas tree of grace from God. I am so blessed to be a part of it all. May you be blessed as this year ends and the new one begins. May your dreams all come true and when they don’t may you see the blessing even in that. Good always comes around if you wait. Happy Holidays to all.

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photos by; asa

Look at the compassionate Christmas tree

All decked out, such a symbol of grace

Colorful lights and brilliant sparkling ornaments

Bringing joy and delight to many a face

Across many great lands of this world

A beautiful act of annual congruity

If only if could be always so

That the people of this world

Diverse though they may be

Could be drawn together

Into the boldness of unity!

United we stand divided we fall

Joined together for the common good of all

And for the one who made us for each other

Each one of us together taking our place

Doing our part for our human race

Everyone taken care of, no one left out

From the great and tall to the weak and small

No throw away people here, not one

All can be redeemed all can be fixed

No Scarlet Letter

No Mark of the Beast

Only love and peace and hope for all

From the greatest of the great

To the very last, the smallest of the small

No one is too broken

No one is beyond repair

When it is pure Love’s acclaim

That the living truth does spare

So many lives shattered

So many lives filled with shame

So many wounded, hurting souls

Bearing all the guilt and all the blame

For the evils pressed upon them

They gather around the trees

Praying for hope and peace to be there

Two trees standing in the garden

One a tree of grace

One a tree of despairs

One tree’s beautiful lights

Announcing a new birth of hope

One tree stark and barren in death

Hung with compassion and care pronouncing

For all to see that there is hope

To be found in the tree of despairs

Life springs anew from the bareness of death

Both trees a symbol of the One True King

The Master of unity who one day will bring

His Kingdom to the humble ones

Who wait for His glorious return

Look at the beautiful Christmas Tree

Look at the tree of despairs

Where love and compassion were hung

For us, to show how much He cares

So take the time to think deep, breathe in

All that this means and how glorious it is.

Oh Christmas tree spectacular and vivid

May you speak your magic to the hearts of all.

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image by; asa